tremendous faith in all that is and all that will be, I submit this, my first
in-season Levinator Recap of the 2008-9 GW campaign.
A lot has
happened since we last met you know.
Outside our small and apparently newly “devout” hoops community, the
world has taken a few turns south.
Ongoing financial crises are affecting growth and stability around the
world’s most refined countries. Nations
are dealing with social and public unrest as they pump billions into their
markets and industry with the hope that the greed of some does not cripple the
dreams of many.
recession fear a reality and the Ameros a distinct possibility, the G-7 nations
and beyond are planning for the worst…a nuclear Iran, a revived Russian
superpower, a Chavez regime until 2022, etc.
What role does religion play in the world’s uncertainty? Are we facing the inevitable world war
between the Judeo-Christian nations and the Fundamentalist Muslims with their
is here today…what is he telling all of our followers? Would herve be commissioned to build a
nuclear-safe website, capable of protecting GWhoops.com and its loyal posters? Would Tuna be stockpiling Bumble Bee in an
underground nuclear-safe enclave two miles deep into the surface of the
earth? Would Dootie blow Bubble balloons
in support of our savior? Well, frankly,
we shall see in this thread!! Personally, I really do wish for protection
from the second coming NOW, at least to protect my 401k. Damn it.
Whenever this board faces up against possible internal division…old
nasty undertones resurface and the true sport of anonymity is tested. No better eample then within this thread
seemingly about Christ as a redeemer, freedom of speech, epression and
Religion at its core but actually, so much more! So, please, my dear congregation unite with me
or simply indulge me with some moments of laughter, fun, ecitement, praise,
laud, etol, ye unto thee, thine ye thine.)
wrong with a little religion in sports?
We are seeing it more now than ever.
Every televised event ends with some group prayers from players on both
teams, and then post game interviews filled with “thank the lord”, “Jesus gave
me the ability to run” etc. Top-notch
athletes are even ordained these days before they reach 20. All- American
athletes like Dootie’s Tim Tebow and herve’s Joel Penton have brought religion
to the forefront of their lives and thus, to their college’s devout fan base.
further ado, I bring to you all, my dearest anonymous friends of the world, the
first edition this year of the Levinator Recap, sure to make you laugh or cry,
praise or despise. The thread,
infamously entitled, “Check out these Matt Albritton videos”, and respectfully
submitted by Florida Colonial has been recapped below for some quality shitter
(To all newcomers, religious or not: all previous recaps appear in the RECAPS
section above. Their purpose is not to
offend in anyway, but rather, to enjoy, you know---laugh. Hopefully!
Life is too serious. Hook
yourself and live a little)
- Florida Colonial (the only place
where a Bush still wins) - links us to one of our freshman recruits, Matt
Albritton’s homemade video about Jesus and redeeming and etc. If you want any proof that it’s really a
video done at GW, just look at Matt’s bed for evidence.
- Rachel (and the lord
has brought me unto thee) – Thinks this video is “awesome.” No way!
- Longing for Oscar (LFO,
Coman, OBC, but never BS’s us) - apparently introduces sarcasm into the
thread. Matty reminds him of Eli
Sunday, ecept that, of course, Eli Sunday is playing!
- Dootie Bubble (ummm…possible
antichrist?) – Reminds us all that he is unfortunately a Gator fan. So, if you’re able to get by that and
still respect anything he says, he opines that it’s a lot easier, based on
“firsthand eperience”, dealing with the proselytizing when the wins start
rolling in. Either this is an
indirect reference to Mr. Tebow or to that one random day when he banged that
Jesus freak in the back of his Ford Taurus after a big day at the local
- Sharon (like Rachel- new and not
very outspoken) – inserts, “This awesome”.
Um, did we just see the same video?
All I saw was some tall white boy with a prayer book, using clips
of Mel’s Jesus movie and some psalms from his belly to remind us that our
redeemer lives. Awesome, not
really. Nicely done…sure. But awe inspiring?
- Lynn (and you thought those who
love Jesus talked a lot) – also credits Matt with an “awesome video. A great reminder that Jesus loves
us.” Okay folks, enough is
enough. Is this video really
awesome? I’m glad you recently
joined our community, and g-d only knows how much we need new blood around
here, but, perhaps we ought to define the word “awesome” again. Webster’s defines awesome as “epressive
of awe.” And then goes on to define
awe as, “an emotion variously combining dread,
veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or
sublime.” Wow. Was Levinator wrong or what! I guess if you consider Jesus to be an
“authority” or “sacred” and you feel that Matt’s video made your veins run
bloody with dread, veneration and wonder…than this video was “awesome!”
- Rick (not slick but doing
my thing) – Makes a more logical analysis my mind when he vents, “Nicely
- njspride (not really
feelin’ the awe, more Jersey pride) – Wants to ask
Matty boy for some editing tips.
Yeah that whole belly Psalm thing was just out of this world!
- Hatchet Man (burning out
his a up here alone) – Clearly isn’t into the whole religion and sports
thing. With a show of disgust,
“Ugh”, he requests that Matt “just play the game.” This is the beginning of the thread
theory that religion doesn’t belong in sports and that perhaps, the sport
itself, just might be bigger than those that play it and their damn
(that’s Stevie from my DC crew…to the newcomers) – what’s up
202? It’s Lev from the 631
son! What the hell did you say in
this post? I’ve tried to cap it
baby…but I felt it best to give you a shout out instead! I think you were referring to some
possible GW game video where Matt actually plays against Div 1 and scores
lots of pts. Lol
- T Man (and the converted
prophetic masters of the Jewniverse, T MAN) – Is also awed! He lets Matt know that he’s da man! He thanks him for his effort and
courage. He knows it’s not
easy…but…it’s well worth it. He
ends by giving a shout out to the Colonials!
- GW Alum Abroad AKA GWAA (AKA
Free NIT Ti for Levinator) – I love when a thread has GWAA in it. You know it’s gonna have emotion and
reason and always real. First, he
like I will now admits that the first time he watched the video, he didn’t
actually finish it. Unlike GWAA, I
do believe, I did watch it thrice to produce this recap masterpiece for
all to enjoy. He then goes on to
wish that Matt turns out to be a great GW-baller do well in school and
enjoy the whole college eperience.
However, he is clear when he describes his lack of affinity for
those who “wear their religion on their sleeves” and that that applies to
all religions. He apologizes for
sounding pissy, but, “he was accosted by two Mormon missionaries on the
bus” that morning who were proselytizing and all he wanted to do was get
to “the house of a dear friend who was sitting shiva!” Really…you just can’t make this shit
up. Let’s keep rollin’.
- alum1 (DJ ALUMone and MC
Levinator…flash up your lighter inside hey hey) – Responds, “Good
lord!” As opposed to BAD Lord!
- gdubbnbc (works for GE, but
loves GW) – Wow…was he wrong with this opinion! “Nothing GOOD can come of this
thread. Let’s move on and talk
about, you know, basketball.” Ha
ha. Classic post. Early nomination for post of the
thread. If only he knew then, what
he knows now! Lol.
- crooked serpent (some may
argue BS, some DB, some CJS-fan, some Ziik and some may even say Mailvan)
– Wow. This poster gets it
going! Yeah! So much hate! Yeah.
I love it…Levinator loves it.
So real! Crooked declares
that the video was “so awful.” Now
that the first derivative of the word awe in a negative light. Filled with so much dread in a bad
way! No veneration or wonder! He contends that Matty boy was crying
like a baby and that he was not grounded in reality. However, he does look on the bright
side! “when we get decimated in
every game because albritton is too much of a jesus-wuss to play, we can
just blame on the devil.” Now that
my dear friends, was “awesome!”
- Standing Strong (and
united, is the greatest team of all) – Now that are socks and shoes are
off: He reminds us all that some of the “best athletes in America
are dedicated Christians, including Tebow of Florida State”. Wait stop right there. Isn’t that sacrilegious? How could one confuse FSU with the
Gators? DB? For amusement only, I will continue to
recap this post. S.S. finishes
with, “The ability to get drunk, get girls preg and swear is not
manhood. I hope out of anger you
will someday discover that love is the most powerful force on earth.” Now I’m not certain if this was directed
to Crooked Serpent or to all of us in general but, I always thought that
my ability to get drunk WAS manhood.
Cause as a little tike, the bourbon just didn’t go down as well.
- Sign of the Times – (would
that be NYT or perhaps WT) – This post really threw me for a loop. He/She starts off my stating that he’s a
Christian and that his brother is a priest. Then he states, “What kind of person
comes to play basketball at a nice respectful school like and makes a
freak statement like this?” I
admit, it was at this point, that I stopped my recap analysis and watched
the video again. Freak
statement? Was I missing something? The poster also suspects that if Matt
isn’t amazing on court, people may suspect that he’s a religious fanatic and
an insensitive creep. What? How was he being an insensitive
creep? Oh vey… what is Lev missing?
- Florida Colonial (like a
schoolgirl who retracts from her comments about the bus driver‘s advances
once she’s questioned by police) – Amazingly replies that he was sorry to
post this thread. Why? This was delicious and in so many
ways? Well done my friend. I commend you for your find. He adds that he never thought people
would take this so damn seriously and that he was happy to have a player
like Matt who was dedicated to his beliefs. I agree it was great fro you to
post. So stop apologizing...you
- Ron (Ado
ron ron) – Injects, “Good morals, strong beliefs and a great basketball
player. Can’t ask for more than
that!! Love it!” okay folknuts. This is what you call a LEVINATOR
BREAKDOWN. Ronny boy here has just
about tested my patience for these do all say little Jesus nuts who
obviously love Matt and all that Matt stands for. Either that, or they are all members of
his close family and friends who are pumping up his fame here with
reckless abandon. Let the boy
play. Let his skills speak for
themselves. Let us fall in love
with him too. Let us pray to Jesus
for his safe return to the hardwood.
Let us all say, amen.
- ziik- with a Russian accent
say: (The infamous shirtmaker, but to our MV- a shirtmakin’ shittalker) –
Implores our community to give a little tolerance here. He hopes Matt enjoys his time here and
has great success. I agree.
- Bigfan (not to be confused
with that little fan…little man) – Awesomely admits that he hasn’t watched
the video yet, BUT all these new names responding were beginning to creep
him out! Lol. How could you blame him? You know with T Man and Sharon, Lynn
and Rick…what da funk? Right? It’s like Jesus took the wheel and drove
Matt and his posse to GWU to reunite the Jewniversity. It’s pretty awesome shit if you ask me
- Longing For Oscar (Not
Gamble you Yankee fan Levinator…Oscar from GW silly) – After watching him
play the previous day, recommends that Matt better perform an “eorcism on
the game ball, the basketball court and his uniform” if he epects to
score with regularity. He jokes
that it must have been Collucci who brought him into the program. Meany! But true.
- thinker (I think, therefore
I am) – Admits he was ready to scold FC for posting the video but then
realized that Matt put this up himself so it’s fair game! Also, he does have enough insight into
the inevitable that he requests herve remove the thread. Haha.
Levinator always wins! He does point out that many on the site are
quick to scorn those whose remarks can be seen as “disrespectful to Jews,
or Blacks, Gays, the desirability of having children out of wedlock,” Sarah
Palin, etc.. He compares bashing this
video to being anti-semitic, homophobic and anti-Palinistic.
- Longing For Oscar (AKA LFO)
– Disagrees with his dear bids Thinker.
Matt put it up…its fair game!
- thinker (where the only
thing that doesn’t think is named JK) – reminds LFO that he realized Matt
put it up. But, one should ridicule
him for his beliefs. He contends
that many a times, LFO would get defensive over things related to Judaism,
Jewish holidays and GW events on certain threads but that thinker always
agreed with him sticking up for himself.
Then he contends that this stuff probably shouldn’t be on the
- L.A. Fan- (Easily get the Best
Humor award on the thread. Can’t recap it, so here goes, “Unless they are
regular posters using different names, by my count I see 9 or 10 new GW
basketball fans in this thread. So
M. Albritton is now more successful at marketing GW basketball than
anything that has been attempted by D. Perno or J. Kvancz in the past 6 or
7 years (which is basically nothing).” Wow!
- Free Quebec – (our own numbers
man…always good to have him as an ally) – asks La Fan, “please tell me
your last post was snark”? The
Urban Dictionary’s definition of snark:
Use of sarcasm or malice in speech. Commonly found in the
- LFO- (Don’t ya know) - Says
blah blah blah to thinker.
- Thinker (before you speaka)
– Wants to be clear with Oscar. He
really agrees with him on everything.
He takes an epected jab on JK calling his decision to schedule
fundraising golf tourneys on religious holidays stupid and
insensitive. He really just hates
to see the board “condone anti-Christian commentary even if any one of us
happens to be Jewish or Athiest or Dootie bubbled. Does anyone see why Levinator was so
enthralled to have this thread hit 30 and up! Classic ridiculous unnecessary drama!
- Florida Colonial (home of the
hanging chad and the club Firestone) – Double posts. One- to thinker. Tells him to stop taking himself so
seriously. Amen brother. He is embarrassed by some of the other
posters. It didn’t even occur to
him that some posters might take offense to these videos. By the Way, he was merely looking for
you-tube video of our players when he stumbled upon this! His second post was the revelation that
perhaps some of the other posters saw something else in Matt’s video! Net on GWhoops
Hospital. Scorpio tells Anna and Jack to replay
the Albritton video backwards. It
would then reveal the Illuminati’s true identity and the actual location
of Hagbard Celine in order to save Anna’s life.
- LFO (Lucy in the Fridge
with Opium) -- Thanks FC for putting up the video and thinks it’s very
entertaining while speaking volumes about our new sharpshooter. Sharpshooter you say? Show me a GW highlight film please!
- Dootie Bubble (when in
double trouble, blow that dootie bubble and don’t forget to wipe!) –
Welcome to the game changing moment on the thread folks. The real dramatic discussion of religion
begins here. DB felt that thinker
was directing his previous post to him and some of his previous questionable
posts on religion. He reminds
thinker that he doesn’t make fun of people’s gender. Race, or seual
preference because we can’t change (without major surgery) these
things. “Believing in magic
(whether it be Christian, Jewish, Scientologist, or Copperfield), that can
be ecised with nothing but a little logic”! Wowza!
Kabaam! Shazaam! Take that
Jesus! Hey Moses…gotcha sucka! Tom Cruise…biatch!
- Heroic 7-J (really? R U
from the Motel chain in Boynton Beach,
FL) – He reveal that he is new to the board. No way?
Really? He defends Matty’s
boldness in regards to his faith and opines that if this was Tebow, we
would all be singing his praise. Um
really. Enough of this Tebow
guy. Have you seen his girlfriend’s
breasts recently? Talk about the
second coming of G-d! On the eighth
day, G-d gave her…
- Porter71 (I ain’t holdin’ a
door for you and I ain’t no chopped steak) – The first of many diatribes
to bless this thread! This one, my
dear friends, was a beauty! He goes
after those middle aged male GWhoops alum posters who support mocking a
college kid and his religious beliefs just because he put it up on the
web. It’s for this reason that he
doesn’t check this site very often anymore! Really/
I thought it was because our team sucked last year and now that our
schedule sucks again, why really go out on a limb and hardcore support
these boys en route to a fuckin NIT birth baby! Yeah Levinator! 22 Wins baby! Oops. Sorry folks, I got off on a tangent
there. Porterhouse goes on to say
that he respects DB’s argument the least.
He labels DB as Mr. Logic (nope- the voice of reason is Mentz) and
Mr. Intellectual (could be, but there are a few other here who could win
that acclaim by vote) and that he’s seen his type before. Tears down people’s faith so he can feel
better about himself. Actually, all
in all pretty strong and dramatic tone here! Like it!
- dootie bubble (where the
fart don’t pop) – Directs his Yoda voice to porter71. “Self righteous much? Read my comments why don’t you”? He contends that he never “mocked”
Albritton once and that this “religion is off limits” is foolish
nonsense. If ya know DB, you know
where this one headed quickly…south!
He reveals that he’s more comfortable in world where people base
their beliefs on science and not stories of “old time magic”. Then he goes on to call porter71 with
100% certainty, a “smug little horse’s ass.” How you doing?
- mailvan (AKA the MV or on
the CB… its D-MV) – Here ye, here ye.
Mockers stand down. Everyone
may believe as they wish. But you
Matt, and your crusaders of the GWhoops Jewniverse, beware! “Don’t attempt to preach or even subtly
force your beliefs on anyone else.
When you post a video of this substance, you are dangerously
bordering that fine line.” Don’t
make me direct my salad shooting mudslinging anti-AD rhetoric in your line
of sight if you know what’s good for yas!
You have been warned!
- Cindy (Marsha Marsha
Marsha) – Welcome Winner’s Edge Church
to our beloved GWhoops hospital.
Please send our regards to Pastor Eddie Trice and big ups to the South
massive. We ask, no implore that
you read deep into the myriad of thread subjects on this site in order to
fully comprehend just eactly what’s in store for you before you make your
presence felt more widely. You WILL
be met with sarcasm, humor, bigotry and crude commentary. And that’s all just about our AD Jacky
- Alum1- (AKA Alum one) – He
wishes this shit was never posted. He wishes Matt all the best but, he
wasn’t brought to GW to, “shine the light for us wayward souls” nor is he
a “great athlete”. However, he
appear to be a “bright, talented kid who is entitled to his beliefs” but
not at the epense of using this site as a “pulpit” for his supporters to
interject faith and belief on those of us who merely wish to talk about
- porter71 (“Porterhouse,
look at the wa buildup on my shoes?
Now get to it…chop chop!”) -
Directs to DB- “I don’t give a damn if you’re right about whether
there is a g-d!” Such dramatic
tone! “Comparing religion to magic
was an attempt to insult”.
Um…yep. Your point? Oh, you’re calling DB out for not being
an adult and acting like a hyprocrite.
He implores DB to show some self-restraint. Umm...that’s pretty funny. Looks like porter71 won’t be headed
north up the charts on GWhoops board heavies list!
- Bobo (Niece she Blows) –
DB equates all faiths to simple-minded folks believing in magic. Then he calls someone else a smug little
horse’s ass. Bob o fails to see the
logic in that! Me too. Maybe I actually just don’t understand
- LFO- (Lucy in the Fryer
with Onion Rings) - Reveals that if he hadn’t grown up in a very
conservative Jewish family, he’d probably agree with DB a LFO 100%. But, since he still practices, he can
only agree with a LFO 85%. Either
way, he loved Matt’s video as well as Eli Sunday. He concludes by chiding DB for being
such a ghostly character.
- steveg202 (offering
mid-thread recaps SURE to be recapped by lev later) – Claims nails his 6
Thesis to the Wall after taking a shnizz.
He recaps the inevitable debate.
Matts a Christian, devout and now public about it. DB thinks religion is akin to magic. Some don’t even like questioning the
authenticity of religion, finding it improper and unfair to do it to a 19yr
old. Nobody he ever met can 100% be
certain about the validity of religion.
Perhaps they could be a LFO 100% certain, but not 100%. Not even Mother Theresa,
apparently. Finally, that all of
us really just want Matt to be a decent GW baller.
- Bigfan (of what, I have no
idea!) – Asks, “Is there really a Winner’s edge Church?” Yes…bigfan. There is. It’s hard to get concrete details but it
seems to be a Dallas based
project of Pastor Shaw and his lovely wife Veta Johnson.
- DAD (Do you really think
its Matt’s Dad?) - Perhaps he is.
He prefaces by stating the obvious, that he decided months ago not
to respond to the posts on this board.
He must have read the site history! He then decided to add a bit of
commentary without Matt’s consent.
I have summarized it below.
Ironically, dad starts the post off with a phrase you usually here
when you talk about a mass-murderer from the mid-west. “Matt is a very quiet young man.” He goes on to eplain that Matt has
spent most of his life around the world doing missionary work. He never was on a school team until the
8th grade and never played a season of AAU. Matt played for 5 different coaches and
teams in 5 years. PAUSE. So what you’re telling me Daddy is that
Matt has never jelled/developed for several years with the same guys
around him. Hmmm. Dad goes on to contend that despite the
negatives, Matt scored 2181 pts with 246 treys. This got the attention of 27 annoying
coaches who would constantly call the Albritton’s in an attempt to convert
him to their squads. Matt believes
all of this happened because of G-d, therefore he always wants to divert
attention from himself to the Lord.
Matt was apparently shocked to see his video on the board. Dad, who goes by the name David,
finishes his post with some thoughts and prayers for Hobbs
and the players and then asks us (those who believe in G-d) to pray for
Matty cause he just hurt his hand in practice.
45. bobo (Skee
whatin tatin ya ya ya ya) – Replies directly to David Albritton. He
thanks him for coming on the board to set
the record straight. He credits
family for seemingly raising a good
kid. He also makes a good point that
Matty plays good D for Hobbs,
he likely won’t get the opportunity to drain 3’s all
over the court like we all would like to
(Lucy in France
with Oysters) – What, Matt’s injured?
Asks Dad, what was the nature of Matt’s hand injury and how sever
- Dad (Are we being punk’d ashton?) –
Replies to Lucy that Matt’s at the Dr. now for -rays. He will get back to the board.
(We don’t need no stinkin’ Frenchies) – Tells David Albritton the
most truthful statement thus far on the thread, “Please make sure Matt
NEVER reads this board. Nothing good
can come of it for players.” I’m
not too sure what good has come from it for me! Lol.
hater (but a lover) – Asks, “Can we get back to basketball
now?” Really? It’s 11/11 and our site had seen
absolutely no basketball talk for weeks…ecept if you count our
schedule. So, why not let this
thread go off? It’s certainly
better than talking about Duke or the press that that school down the
street gets from the WaPO!
(Lucy in Florida
with Octane) – Thanks Dad in advance for providing an update on Matt’s
injury. He reminds Dad that we’d
all like to see him healthy and playing.
Michael (Tuna mike on and speak up) – Tuna is somewhat amused by
the thread. And at the 50th
post guys- you ought to know why!
Tuna goes on to tell us a story about a good friend of his for 20
years who called him a tuna melt sandwich and threatened to eat Bumble Bee
night and day if he didn’t believe in G-d.
He eplained that having a belief in G-d is personal to him and
shouldn’t be confused with being an atheist. Tuna has faith damn it! Faith in what is and what will be! His faith is, by “its very nature, it is
a simple belief.” He goes on to
commend Matt and his Dad for all their missionary and volunteer work they
did and will continue to do.
Further, he states that we all should consider thanking folks who
give of themselves for charity and service to humanity just as we do for
those who serve in our Armed forces.
He then makes a few edits to the post but we all knew what he
(delivering debates in the rain, wind, ice or snow) – Questions
porter71’s usage of “god dammit” in his post scolding anyone for attacking
Matt’s band of religious basketball fans.
I found it quite funny if you ask me.
(Lucy in Fort Bragg
with Orange Crush) – Tells Tuna that he connected with much of what he
wrote. He only had one question
though. The question was suggested
because LFO didn’t read the corrected post Tuna put up net. When all is said and done, it appears
LFO actually agree with much if not all, of what tuna said.
(not to be confused with chrisT) – gave a helping hand to Tuna by
telling LFO to keep on reading Lucy!
(Levinator aside: G-d I’m getting crazier in my old age).
Suffering Fan (LSF on a bad LSD trip) – Argues that, “religion,
like politics, does not belong on this board. “ He does admit, however, that the video
link does tell us something about the recruit. He ends with an appeal for the “amen
chorus”, who would like to convert us all, to just go away. Classic! That’s like telling a Dolphin fan that
Ricky doesn’t deserve to play again because he believes in a higher
authority! We all pray to different
g-ds guys, some just happen to come rolled up in a blunt and allow for
shotgun passes all night long!
Michael (Delphinidae, who
“resembles g-d”-- to the hebrews) - claims the “best way to have a civil
entertaining discussion is to be civil and entertaining, when you discuss
something.” Tuna gets a little deep here, so I’ll humor him…’cause I like
him. He directs it to LFO. He eplains that there is something
unique about a chat board that makes people say things that they would
never say in person. Right on
Tuna! It doesn’t hurt that we are
an anonymous board at that! He goes
on to suggest that all he is pointing out is that Matty and family have
been all around the world. Do they
really care about what some damned middle-aged alums say about their son
or his groupiesque gang of “Amen Chorus” peeps, as LSF so delicately puts
it? I mean, shouldn’t they of all people be able to put this in
perspective? Tuna goes on here to
highlight the very many great outside shooters in our schools’ lore. He points out that last year, we lacked
a true threat. Where is “Tallents,
Magid, Holleran, and on and on….TJ” and “Rogers.”
Matt has a year to learn the system as Noel takes care of trey
business this year folks!
(Recap this bitch!) – I
don’t usually recap myself but this post was especially satisfying…so I
will. I said a whole bunch of
nonsense to David Albritton about how we have this natural schism between
ardent intellects and ardent zealots in this world AND in our little
universe. Both times I had spelled
ardent wrong while mildly entertaining myself for a few minutes. Truth was all I gave a shit about was
whether his hand injury was serious.
I did also mention that this board has had religious undertones
before that ran through certain threads that I fully deem to be
appropriate since they were really about marketing and alumni
gathering. I actually have no
problem with this thread.
Christ-all-Matty discourse at GWhoops is just another way of
bringing us all together in perfect herve-harmony forever and ever as we continue
down the path of terrible OOC’s and completely confusing substitution patterns.
Bubble (Hey DB, you know
me. I’m the guy from the U who
likes to eat Gatorfood biatch!) – Assumingly directs his comment to yours
truly. He thinks the GW golf
tournament was magic as well.
(Lucy in the Freezer with
O.j. concentrate) – You just knew this was coming! “Jack thinks he can walk on water. Does god visit the Smith Center?
And, if he does, would he bother showing up for the OOC game?” Nice work Oscar. It only took yea long to twist this
thread into to a jab on JK and his mind boggling approach to the
advancement/success of GWhoops. How
could there be a g-d? I pray every
day and has he looked at our damn OOC schedule?
(nah, I prefer blonde ales
myself) – directs to Mailvan (the MV) when he states that he didn’t
realize he wrote “god dammit” in his emotional diatribe to our board
heavies who tread deep within the waters of
(Hello Mutta, Hello
Fartha, we’re not praying at Camp Ramah) – Offers a pivotal moment in this thread’s
history. After revealing that
Matt’s injury was just a “badly bruised jammed finger” he then signs off
permanently from GWhoops...without once ever being pressured to do
so. One down with porter71 still coming
on back for more despite his previous threats. He loves us way too much to leave forever.
(Lucy in a Ferrari with
Opium) – Gives a shout out to David and the Albrittons. Sounds like a biblical music group
(the Enforcer of Postage)
– points out, like me I might add, that this thread’s main juice is
actually Matt’s apparent hand injury and updates.
(because Alum was taken) –
Dares ask, “Why do we keep resurrecting this thread?” He must have known that that question
alone would drag us to the Levinator RED ZONE!! Thus, I actually credit alum1 for
allowing me the ability to recap this brilliant thread. You win the LEVI for “Post most likely
to result in the thread reaching the Levinator Red Zone.” Well done! Herve will send you your cash and
(Hey…buddy…I got shirts
ova hea!) – And now the real fun BEGINS.
Ziik takes the bait from alum1 and suggests that the reason why
this thread keeps resurrecting is because, “Mailvan, like others, stupidly
suggested that Matt ought to limit his self-epression when the young man
had not posted anything on this site in the first place.” Further, “But it looks like some of our
educated and otherwise reasonable buddies get all medieval when it comes
to religion, and absolutely Palinesque when it comes to self
epression.” “It’s a shame the way
Matt was scapegoated here, when he did absolutely nothing.”
Perhaps it’s time
during the Recap to take a stroll down memory lane. For years, this site has been held hostage by
the constant battles between the rival tribes; Ziikites and the
Mailvanians. Years of negotiations were
lost when the Mailvanians joined forces with the rebel AAU leader LFO to defeat
Commander Blue Seats and his terrible band of OOC’s. King herve had done much to keep the Republic
together, but the Salad Shooting Wars deemed to much for his Universe. BS was banished forever from GWhoops,
revolving around the earth in an unbreakable glass enclosed webcell. Every now and then, the possibility of
another Salad Shooting War presents itself.
Now, my friends just might be one of them. So, let us continue. As you may recall, I then wrote to Ziik
asking him eactly how he arrived at his anti-Mailvan conclusion JUST from
reading this thread.
(All postal workers,
report to battle stations immediately) – Kindly responds to my post, “The
reason why Ziik could draw such a conclusion is because he is a total
asshole.” He then goes on to use
“asshole” more frequently then any conjunction words. Truth is, this time Mailvan is a LFO
then tells us that some of
us need a nap followed by DB singing to us Pilot’s, “Magic.”
for Oscar (Rebel AAU
leader reporting to duty, sir) – Reveals that he finds Ziik’s post odd,
particularly given his “many insensitive, racist and anti-Semitic posts
during the past few years.”
(So as to not be
considered a Crackerjack) – Now this post is interesting. He is entertained by the thread and does
catch on as an apparent lurker that this kind of shit is eactly what we folks
do around here. He then points out
that Matt’s Dad, David, was also a basketball player and was actually a
pretty good scorer. Apparently, G-d
blessed David with the ability to score with only 1 eye! You really can’t make this shit up! I’m just recapping.
Fan (go home and clean
your turtle shit off you fuckin’ Twerp) MF blesses us with his warm
presence. Then, after reading his
post it appears that he’s actually a GW fan from Maryland?
Either way- change your moniker biatch...it’s deliciously
misleading. Anyway, MF sides with
the camp that seems just fine with the religion thing so long as we
freakin win dammit!
Suffering Fan (It’s like a
Buffalo Bills fan married a Detroit Tiger Fan and they had a little baby
who grew up to be an alumnus of our mighty fine GW) – Astonishingly
continues his request for herve to remove the “hottest” thread this side
of Purgatory. He claims THIS thread
is really “attracting some creepy participants.” Nice.
(Lucy in the Factory with
Oldsmobiles) – Comments that he thought Matt played fine on 11/19. He was 0/1 but played with plenty of
Street (Bailout likely to
included money for that NCState game we moved) – Speaks to our great
victory against BU. He agree that
Matt played a good game and showed some good D. The Street also enjoyed Matt’s dunks and
pre-game razzle dazzle. He EVEN compares him a little to Stevie Nash. LMAO.
He call out the future like he’s G-d or something and then claims
that Noel should start over because let’s face it, can’t hit from the
(It may have been 8 but
G-d tied up my uterus) – Gives us all the history on David Albritton. David was selected in 1973 to the OCAA
for scoring 34.9 pts. per game. He
had lost sight in one eye as a kid in an accident and still managed all
this later success. So, with that
Levinator decided to delve deeper into David’s past. They called him “the one” in college and
then one-eyed Davie when ‘The Goonies” first came out.
BTW- if what momof4 is true, that’s pretty AWESOME!
(Lucy in the Fridge with
Olive loaf) – LFO directs his comments to MOMO instead of MOM–OF- 4) which
was pretty funny! He asked what the
nature of David’s eye accident was.
Friend (FF Forever) –
replies to LFO, “a stick with a nail in it hit pupil in first grade. Lost 100% of eye sight.” No folks this was not a LFO 100%. FF continues, “Was a great outside
shooter with 55 pts. in 1 game.
Went on to become an author of 29 books. Taught Matt bball while doing Miss work
in Africa, Asia etc.”
- ChrisW (okay, you can confuse him with chrisT,
he doesn’t mind) – Asks a very interesting question. “Do you know what’s up with Matt’s
foot? He was in a walking cast
yesterday [11/26], and as reported here he turned an ankle in
practice…Also, and I don’t mean to insult your Jesus loving ass or Matt’s,
but is this awesomely amazing future GW basketball star susceptible to
(It’s like the SS only
better) – Replies to Chris that he “found some info?” Hmmm.
Found info? If you’re a
family friend, why wouldn’t you just ask?
Anyway, he claims they are separate injuries and will be out 2-4
weeks with an ankle injury. Then,
in a most amazingly bizarre statement claims, “Matt has never missed a
game with an injury. Should dress
for MD and play vs. Harvard.”
Melt, admittedly a huge
fan of Recaps, makes an in-thread claim that ChrisW’s posts and responses
pushed this thread into the Levinator Red Zone. Little did Tuna know, I
had already “devoted” myself to this thread.
(the Dubya stands for
Witchcraft) – Tells Tuna, “don’t blame me for this train wreck! Blame the 80 posts before mine!” Come on boys, why do we have to blame
anyone? Can’t we all just get
along? This is not a train
wreck! It’s a wonderful opportunity
to hear from the very many faces that make up our community. What doesn’t divide us unites us! This thread proves that no matter how we
feel about Jesus, Religion or the GW Jewniverse…we can all unite in the hopes
and wishes for a speedy Albritton recovery and some great outside shooting
for several years to come.
Melt tells Christopher
that it all counts, man. Then he
wishes to point out, in all solemnity, “That this site is known for its
sense of humor as much as anything else.”
So, in that spirit, bring on the damn recap!
Bubble states that
“politics and religion are the best things to argue about. Don’t think of it as attacking people’s
sacred beliefs, think of it as pissing people off as sport. The former suggests there are some
absolute truths whereas the latter recognizes bullshit as king.” Classic lines DB. You have represented your side well and
with an impressive arsenal of sharp wit to boot. You may disagree with good ole DB and
g-d only knows how much yours truly says Amen to that…but he sure does
know how to epress himself anonymously.
It’s a talent.
ALERT…ALERT… POST OF
THE THREAD AWARD…and the LEVI goes to…
Michael (Put down that
Sushi roll and clap for me) – Tuna blesses us with a wonderful benediction
to short for me to ever copy, but too long for me to ever rewrite for
you. I ask you all to give another
look-see to his award winning post and to all of the other winners as
well. Okay, a little recap. He asks the lord to bless our community,
GWU, our multi religions and even Notre dame football fans. Oh wait, he then skipped them. He asks the lord to bless us with the
understanding of Hobb’s substitution patterns (yea right…not even g-d),
the wisdom of Solomon or Feinstein to help eplain or OOC each year, he
asks the lord to bless me and I second that my dear lord, for I will not
speak your voice or walk within your shadows but do listen to Tuna and
bless me. I’ll even put blood on my
lampposts dear lord. Most
importantly, tuna asks the lord to bless us all with a 22 win season so
that Lev can collect on his most improbable and awesome bet with GWAA for
NIT tickets. Amen.
(the man, the myth, the
alumnus) – “May God bless and keep the Tsar – far away from us! Then he put Fiddler in quotes because he
probably thought that with such a large amount of gentiles on this thread,
many probably wouldn’t know that it came from a Jew movie. Classic.
Friend- responds to
Levinator’s final call for thought and prayer. He states that, “Matt’s passionate about
Christ but does not consider himself religious. Matt is simply a follower of
Christ.” WHAT? I really can’t make this shit up
guys. FF goes on to eplain all the
awesome miracles that Jesus bestowed upon Matt’s family. His grandfather…SAVED. His mother…SAVED! FF contends that “Matt is an ordained
minister and plans to play pro ball overseas where he has already drawn
interest.” WHAT? Then how the hell can Matt not consider
himself religious? Ordained
ministers are not religious? This
is silly if you ask me. It really
does bode well if FF and DB got into a one-on-one salad fest.
(Lucy in the Fish tank
with Oyster bait) – Seemingly mocks FF and his truly wild biblical
interpretation of the Albritton’s family history. Could you imagine if there is a Book of
Albritton at the Winner’s edge?
That would be something.
Anyhoo, LFO tells the story of his uncle’s anal fissures and how he
was in so much pain that he devoted himself completely to g-d. G-d healed his
uncle so completely that, “the fissures never opened again, even when he
passed stools that were almost as hard as rocks.” Now this story I believe!!!!
Bubble replies for us all,
“Sweet Jesus LFO!”
MV – (to be confused with
Mailvan) – directs his comments to FF.
It only took 100 posts or so for DMV to run his Van over a new
found friendly. FF’s last comment
seemed over the top enough that I was certain DMV or DB would have a field
day. Boy was I right. DMV questions FF’s sincerity after
repeatedly making relatively outlandish statements about Matty boy’s bball
prowess. He points out the
injuries, the apparent lack of athleticism against Div 1 opponents, his
passing skills etc. He then offers
some typical Mailvanian advice: What I do see is you and other portraying
his game as something its not.
Which in the end, does Matt a disservice.” His unsolicited advice to FF, if you
truly want to support Matty, cheer for him and the team, but stop making
his game out to be something that it’s not. Lucy, the rebel forces have been
defeated! FF, I can feel your
- FF- (oh no you don’t Mailman) – Replies,
“Matt has a lot of people who have seen him play and feel strongly
that” Matt’s…the greatest
ever…definitely NBA first round…friends in 46 states (we don’t like NY,
NJ, Conn and Mass)…Jesus is very real…God heals, saves and
delivers...thank you LFO for your wonderful testimony…Josh Hamilton…8
rehabs then became a born again…Jesus is and always will be the
answer…regarding injures…Matt never missed a game until Auburn and daddy
says he’s playing this week…Jesus bleed the buff and blue…amen.
visitor (They come in
droves) – Points out the obvious…Religion Sells baby!!!
(A man who actually knows
that GW has ladies hoops) – Ask Lev to “have mercy on us.” Yeah right!
(Reloaded and ready to
Post) - Nails his 4 theses on FF’s wall: We all love LFO, he has seen Matt
play at it was not up to par, If it’s FF’s goal to make Matt one of the
most criticized and ostracized players in GW history then keep it up and
to stop pushing Jesus’s name on this college board. Take that Luther!
(Tribal leader of the
Ziikites) – Attempts to be sarcastic when he blasts back at Mailvan with,
“Judaism rocks. Jews are the
best. All other religions
suck. Go Jews! Anyone who really knows LSF can read
through this post. The Great thread
Schism is upon us! This can lead to
hundreds more posts and tons more sects!
LSF scapegoats the Jews because lets face it, Mailvan is all but
one Jew and clearly speaks for us all!
Somehow, Mailvan suggesting that Jesus not be pushed on the board
actually meant that Jews want Moses pushed instead. It’s with that logic that I’m certain
I’d never hire LSF to do any attorney work. You actually appear to be a bigot and so
this type of thread is difficult for you!
You can’t hide deep within that sarcasm my friend. Old age just may have caught up!
Fan- (The bigot of all
board bigots) – blah blah blah about how he has now changed and LSF was
right when he called for herve to remove the thread. He admits though that his persona as
board bigot was “ruinous to herve’s board.” He, “finally got it” so he
doesn’t “post vitriolic, ad hominom attacks anymore.” Well that’s a relief. You see CJS- I don’t see where anyone
else has been bigoted in their views on this thread? The difficulties you have had
controlling your bigoted thoughts and epressions to our online community
does not reside in too many others here.
So, although I certainly appreciate you changing your old ways, it
really isn’t a cause or reason for this thread to be removed. Bigoted comments do. What you and LSF have wrong is that Jews
and Christians can unite here because they both believe in a higher
authority. Sandy koufa and Shawn
green are ecellent eamples of Jews who have ecelled in sport but always
remained religious throughout. Good
try on causing a schism between the Judeo-Christian collective here for
your own agenda though.
(cause alumnus was already
taken) – agrees with Mailvan regarding advice to FF and others about
building up Matt’s play to unattainable heights. This site wont be pretty if it continues
and Matty doesn’t hold up. If that
does happen, think about the DB comments about G-d then!
makes an interesting final
point that that actual video he saw was not about Christ redeeming but
about Matt shopping with some female friends. Levinator is looking into that…
- LFO- (Lucy) Agrees with Levinator that he
doesn’t see a train wreck here.
Then he goes off and possibly start one by doing eactly what I
told CJS-Fan hadn’t happened. The
Great schism! When the new Jews
turn on old Jews!
- LSF- Direct quote here folks since it’s too
delicious to recap, “I swear their ain’t no heaven and I pray there ain’t
no hell, If there was, Oscar, you and MV would go straight there for the
way you treat my buddy Ziik.
– asks, “Are we all
talking about the same Jesus?” Apparently not DB.
– Shoots back at LSF, “if
you want to be buddies with a dishonest, racist, anti-semite, be my
guest. And, if you’ve accepted
Jesus as your savior I guess you get a free ticket to heaven too.” Just when I thought 2000 years of wars
and salad shooting would end in our happy little community…along comes the
band of board heavy misfits ready to take aim at one another and fight a
fight that was never fought on this thread before them! Ain’t that the damn truth!
(our King, lord and
savior) – Just reminds us all that he’s here, above the clouds and
omnipresent for all to obey!
defends Ziik yet again
calling him a “good and decent man whom I’m proud to call a friend, just
as I suspect I would find you to be also should we ever meet.
Replies, “I’ll be seeing
them net Friday in philly.”
In conclusion, this thread actually proved to
be quite “awesome.” We heard from many
new fans that are sure to continue popping up for the months to come. Hopefully some even come with last names and
the ability to learn from this thread!
GWhoops.com is above us all. We are just mere pawns on this board and
herve is our fearless leader. I pray
unto him like yesterday, when the server went down and I was working on this recap. Herve heard my prayers and delivered. So, to the “Amen Jesus” gang, I hear
you. I’m actually relatively religious
and do understand in my own personal way, g-d importance to all his
children. However, G-d doesn’t just get
pushed around on a brand new universe foreign to many of you and stranger than
fiction. We are a delicate group of
rabid GW fans, devote to our team and to each other. We are a community, not I. We are not above this board so are own belief
in G-d doesn’t come before the collective.
The collective voted in herve.
To MV, LFO and all other Jews on
this board: you were doing so well up until the very end. This isn’t a debate nor should it ever be,
about Christ versus Moses, our community is beyond that. The issue of religion is not something that
should divide us, but rather, unite us.
Unite us against dogmatic posters.
It’s not fair game on this site.
IMHO. This isn’t a forum to sell
or espouse personal ideals. However, at
times, religion does play a role and its all in good fun. Our “new friends” seem to enjoy the banter
with Mailvan and DB initially. It
actually seemed to get very juicy once the board heavies went at it. Nothing new here!
Well LSF- you
probably got your wish. With the Recap
all but over, this thread will probably sink into oblivion, quickly replaced by
a new one regarding Basketball and just maybe, religion.
Good night all. And
to all…a good night!